EVERLY MARGARET ISOBEL : BIRTH STORY

EVERLY MARGARET ISOBEL : BIRTH STORY


A few weeks ago I wrote about the first month of Everly's life, but I never really went into my birth story with her. It is something I will want to remember forever, looking back I have a whole new appreciation for myself because leading up to that day I honestly did not think I was brave enough to give birth and frankly, I was scared shitless. 

It started on a Wednesday, I sat in my doctor's office waiting for my weekly prenatal checkup. This was a big one because I was able to get a stretch and sweep (if I wanted) and he would also check to see how dilated I was. I knew I couldn't get a sweep unless I was dilated a certain amount, and I remember joking with Eva saying how mad I would be if I wasn't dilated at all (I was almost 39 weeks). I was asked the usual questions like if I am experiencing any cramping or pain (I wasn't, I hadn't felt a thing) and if there was any spotting or leaking (fun questions I know). I went up on the table and saw a look of surprise on my doctors face as he checked my cervix and he said I was 7cm dilated. I remember bursting into laughter because I thought he was kidding, every birth story I watched and read, the women are in pain and doubled over sometimes at 5cm! How could I be 7cm and have felt no pain whatsoever? He told me I would be having this baby today, did a sweep, and sent me over to the hospital. 

When we got to the hospital they hooked me up and did a non stress test, they were SO busy, every bed was full and the labour rooms were full as well. Baby was not in distress and I was obviously not having contractions, so for this reason they sent me home. And this commenced the longest and most frustrating 4 days. I think knowing I was 7cm and considered in active labour but not actually in active labour was what was so frustrating. I wanted to meet Everly, I wanted them to break my water and get things going - but because I was considered before 39 weeks they would have had to fill out paperwork and because there was no room for me they didn't want to do that. 

Thursday came - no baby, and because of my sweep I was finally starting to feel pain and being uncomfortable.

Friday came - still no baby, and Kyle and I were getting impatient. Hearing my Dr say "you'll have this baby today" on Wednesday and still have no baby on Friday was upsetting. It got our adrenaline up and we were coming down from that. I also started feeling back labour to the point where I could barely walk, so I decided if it continued or got worse I would go into the hospital. 

Saturday morning came and I was still in pain so Kyle and I went to the hospital. They once again hooked me up to the machine and baby was still doing amazing, but my contractions were still too far apart. They were still very busy and I felt so annoyed because I knew I wanted pain medication and the window to get it was slowly closing. My Dr came in and did another sweep, this time it hurt a lot more, and they told us to come back around 5pm to see how things were. We decided to spend the afternoon walking around the mall and Babies R Us. I posted an instagram photo of a play gym we bought with the caption "Come on Everly we want you to play with your new toy." I put it because at that point I was convinced she was just never coming lol. We went back to the hospital at 5pm after walking and after checking me AGAIN there was still no progress and my contractions were still like 15 minutes apart. I remember driving home and saying how this was possible, at this point he said I was closer to 8cm and I still was not feeling anything insane, not like how other people described it. 

Saturday night we decided to go home and stay the night at our house, we had been staying at Kyle's mom's house because she lives in town and we wanted to be close. But at this point I was so uncomfortable I just wanted to sleep in my own bed. At around 3am I woke up and travelled into the bath room for the hundredth time and as I walked in I felt a sensation and a gush down my leg. I stood there for about 2 minutes because I knew exactly what happened - my water had just broke. I told Kyle and we basically threw ourselves in the car and went to the hospital. They admitted us this time and put us into a labour room and finally what we had been waiting for since Wednesday was finally starting to happen!

With my water breaking that made things happen really fast, she was sunny side up so I had back labour and it is such an intense and crippling feeling. On the way into the hospital I had decided I wanted to let my body experience contractions because I was almost 8cm my body had not built up any tolerance to contractions, but after one round of back labour I wanted the epidural as soon as possible. Contractions go away, back labour lingers and I honestly felt like I was dying. I got the epidural which felt like what a lot of people described which is basically a bee sting. And the relief was pretty much instant. The hardest part was staying still as he was doing it. 

By 5pm on Sunday I was ready to push! My Dr tried to turn Everly because she was sunny side up but she kept moving back (stubborn little girl I tell yea). After pushing for almost 4 hours my doctor came in and gave me 2 choices. I could either get an episiotomy and they take her out with forceps, or I have a c section. Since Everly was so far down the canal if I chose a c section they would have had to essentially pull her up and out. The thought of a c section really scared me and my Dr recommended an episiotomy. So I decided to opt for that, and they wheeled me into a surgery room (in case the forceps didn't work and they had to go right into a c section). The epidural on my left side started to wear off and I was in a lot of pain, I was so run down and tired, I was also super nervous because I hadn't planed for this. I was given a lot more epidural but I was not feeling that instant relief like before. Unfortunately there wasn't much time to wait for it to kick in, and they placed the forceps on her head and with each contraction I had to push. This was traumatizing almost because it probably looked like something from a horror movie, and I was feeling pretty much everything. Her head was out and some of her shoulders and all of a sudden my contractions stopped. This was the worst part because we had to sit and wait for my next contraction and I remember almost blacking out because the pain was so intense and I was worried for her (this could not have been enjoyable for her either). Once that last contraction came she was pulled out and we heard her first cry. I remember feeling so relieved and they jumped in immediately to start fixing me up. 

I told Kyle to go over to her and see her, and he did, he was able to cut the cord and once she was weighed they brought her over and we did skin to skin. 

All in all I think she was pretty easy on me, my entire pregnancy and even with labour. It was so painful at times but not nearly as bad as it could have been. I love her so much and I am so happy she was able to come into this world healthy with no bad complications. 

My husband filmed a bit of her arrival, if you would like to watch it (no blood and guts I promise ha) you can check it out by clicking here

ONE MONTH POSTPARTUM

ONE MONTH POSTPARTUM


I am having a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that I am already almost (Oct 11) one month postpartum - time truly flies and I hate to sound like every person ever but it's true. I haven't even wrapped my head around the fact that I am a mom to a person fully, sometimes it still feels like I'm babysitting someone else's baby. But here we are, one month as a family of three and it has been quite the adventure. 

A friend of mine told me to "not be an instagram mom," because being a mom is one of the hardest jobs out there, and to slap a filter on it and call it perfect just isn't true. She's right, I seem to post plenty photos of Everly sleeping peacefully which might make it look easy, but it has been such a learning curve for myself. Yea she still sleeps a lot, but what my instagram feed doesn't show is me up every two and a half hours at night to feed/change/soothe her, me battling the baby blues for the first week and a half home, me also battling with the choice to formula or breastfeed, and me just questioning everything I know in general. Nothing prepared me for this little lady, not the books, the classes, or the advice of others. I was not expecting the labour I had with her (it was traumatizing) and I was not expecting the baby blues. Luckily I had the help of a few amazing friends and fellow mommas as well as some family and I can't thank them enough for the support they gave me when I felt like I was just a terrible mom and failing at everything. 

Everly has brought so much happiness and love into my life, I cannot believe some days that she is mine forever. I spend my days just looking at her when I should be resting when she rests, but I can't help it - she is such a perfect human. Even though yes it has come with its challenges, I have never felt more alive and felt like I have a purpose. She is my everything and she has truly completed my family. Everyday she is more alert and I have enjoyed every minute with her, she has such a funny personality and she is so loved - I couldn't have asked for a better child. Right now she still sleeps quite a bit, but when she is awake she likes looking at her black and white toys, touching her brother Bentley's fur, and listening to us read her stories. I had to pack away all her newborn clothes and it made me cry, she only wore newborn sizes for one week..so she is currently rocking 0-3 month clothing. 

As far as the recovery - everyday I feel a little more like myself. The tummy still looks and feels like a deflated balloon but hey, it was far from perfect before I got pregnant anyways! I think I may be experiencing a side effect from the epidural because I do still have a lot of lower back pain in my left side (the side where it wore off during labour) which is unfortunate but it does seem to be getting better. I did get an episiotomy and the recovery from that was not fun but the last few weeks have been better. The experience in general was not what I had envisioned but I know a lot of people's "birth plan" never go the way they want it to. She was stubborn until the very end that's for sure. 

All in all, it has been a whirlwind of a month. We have all taken the time to learn about each other and get used to our new roles as a family. It has been rewarding and I am so happy that this is where I am in life - a mom to a little girl. She challenges me every day to be the best version of myself and I have a new found love and patience in my day to day life. If I could tell her anything and for her to understand it would be that she is everything I wished for and that I hope that I am doing a good job at being her momma and that I am so happy she picked me to travel through life with.