WEEKEND ROUNDUP

WEEKEND ROUNDUP


We are finally getting the nice weather here and we decided to take full advantage once again! We spent most of the weekend outside clearing up the yard and today we decided to take a break and head on over to the zoo!


Everly still doesn't care much for the animals but it is still so cool to take her around and have her seeing all the different types. I also probably looked like a crazy person explaining each animal and the sound they made to a baby who could care less but oh well! Every opportunity is a learning opportunity haha.


It is also time for us to invest in the front of our house and creating gardens and making the curb appeal a lot nicer. Kyle is so proud of the front garden and the one on our deck so we had to snap a few photos of the finished product! I love the way the ladder turned out (thanks Pinterest!) I think it adds something to the garden and helps carry the eye up and around the trees.




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KETOGENIC WAY OF LIFE : WEEK ONE

KETOGENIC WAY OF LIFE : WEEK ONE



Boy oh boy, I thought I've experienced hard things before but not eating any kinds of carbs or processed sugar has been a whole other experience. Let's start at the beginning..

It's been really challenging losing the baby weight, harder than I thought it would be and that had really got me down and discouraged. I really hated looking at myself in the mirror and I kept having to buy new clothes at big sizes because I just wasn't fitting into what I could wear before. I was trying to change the way I was eating and nothing was working, the scale was staying put which was pretty discouraging too. It was basically this back and forth battle with myself and I could feel my personality just dwindling.

In March, my mom came home from Florida and started this new lifestyle because she is diabetic and has been wanting to get herself off insulin. She said she was starting a "ketogenic" way of eating and it was something I had never heard of before. After her first week she lost just over 10lbs, and has since lost almost 30lbs after starting! (YAY MOM!)

For the first couple months of her doing it she was giving me tips and telling me to try it out because it is recommended for people who has PCOS, and I kept telling her that I "didn't eat that many carbs so it didn't matter." Finally last week something switched and I really paid attention to what I was eating and the labels on the food and it turns out I was powered by carbs.

After a couple days of research I started and in the first day I lost 5lbs. When I stepped on the scale the next day I was floored. Granted, a lot of that was probably water weight but just seeing the scale finally go down was really motivating.

The first 4 days were the hardest for sure, your body is wondering where the hell your processed food is and I got the keto flu as they call it. I felt so tired, moody, headaches, and all I wanted was to swim in a pool of bread. If you can push past the first couple days I promise you do wake up feeling normal again.

The picture above was the first day I woke up and felt good, I felt human and my body didn't feel tired or "blah." Finding things to eat is sometimes a challenge, but I am glad I have my mom to ask questions with and to help push me through the hard spot. I definitely would have caved a lot earlier if it wasn't for her and I'm glad I pushed through the hard part because I feel really awesome.

So far for progress, after one week of having a ketogenic diet I have lost 8lbs total! Which is so crazy to me but I'm pretty impressed and happy so far with the results I have had. I plan on doing updates here and there as time goes on!
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SMALL SHOP LOVE : JUJU AND JAKE

SMALL SHOP LOVE : JUJU AND JAKE


I haven't done one of these in a while and I have a list of small shops I want to feature so I really need to make an effort to do this more! This weekend I wanted to take a second to give Juju and Jake a little love. I have no idea how I found this shop but I am so glad I did, the mom behind this small shop creates these beautiful braided crib bumpers. She also makes knotted pillows as well! 

I was so excited when we received this package because crib bumpers are a tricky item, you want to be able to protect those middle of the night blows to the crib. At the time Everly was a pretty motionless sleeper, I originally got this because she kept throwing her pacifier down the back of her crib. It worked perfectly to stop this, however I have noticed now that she moves a LOT during the night, and I will probably need to order another side to complete the crib. 

The bumper itself is pretty squish and soft, and it can be used for tons of other things as well. She offers different sizing on her etsy shop which can be found here. Another item on my list to grab soon are one of her knotted pillows! I saw these all over in Australia when I was pregnant but the shipping was too much to justify. I love that Agnes is located in Toronto, so I am supporting local and the shipping is so much more reasonable!

If anyone is in the market for something unique but practical for their little one I highly recommend checking Agnes out!


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WHAT I SAID I WOULD NEVER DO AS A PARENT

WHAT I SAID I WOULD NEVER DO AS A PARENT


I have wanted to do this post for a while, mostly because looking back I think it is kind of funny to see how things come full circle. Some of the things I swore I would NEVER do as a parent I find myself doing, and I can't believe I essentially mom shamed some people based on some of the choices I now make myself as a mom.

1. The Schedule
This is probably this biggest thing I swore I would never do. I remember my mom swearing up and down how much being on a schedule helped us growing up, but I would always say "I could never live everyday the same way." I even had a friend with a kid a couple years ago say we had to hang out before her kid went down for a nap and I remember thinking "why can't you go off schedule for ONE day?!"

Hey past Kayla, meet mom Kayla - the mom who literally NEVER goes off schedule. The schedule is everything and I'm okay with that. Sure it's pretty strict now but I know as time goes on it will ease up. I always sit and smile almost every day I put her down for her nap at the same time because I never thought I would be the mom to have their child on a schedule. I love that we have our days planned and there is structure in her life, looking at how much it has helped her I honestly do not think we could ever have a day where things are just anarchy.

2. The Unsolicited Advice
This one was another big one, I remember always saying to people who had kids "well why can't you just do _____." This is one of my biggest pet peeves because I consider myself to be a pretty hands on mom and Everly is always my main priority, unless I approach you with a question or concern please keep your opinions and thoughts to yourself.

I have already gotten my fair share of unsolicited advice and I can see now that I'm a mom how annoying it is to have to listen to it.

3. Stating the Obvious
This kind of goes hand in hand with unsolicited advice but another thing that really grinds my gears is hearing people state the obvious to be regarding my daughter. Again, Everly is always my main priority.. trust me when I say I'm handling it. I don't need to hear "keep an eye out on ___" or "her face has ____" "she has diaper rash." No shit. I've got it.

I can remember saying the obvious to so many people who are moms and now in my head I'm just like "Kayla why?!" It makes it seem like I go every day not looking at my child - I see every mark on her and I'm taking care of it.

4. Parenting My Kid For Me
For all the times someone has given a child a piece of food or let them do something their parents said they couldn't have - there's a special place for you. I have been guilty of doing this in the past and never again will I be guilty of this. We had just started giving Everly solids and someone went to give her something she had first of all never tried, and something I knew she was not ready for. I said no don't give that to her and they continued to do it until I had to raise my voice and say NO. Why did it have to go that far? Who are you to think it is ok to continue to do something the mother says is not ok?


All of these things I am guilty of doing but will never do again. You never know what something is like until you're in it. This post seems a little passive aggressive now that I am reading it back, it is not meant to be. It is just a reminder for myself going forward, I find it interesting that people are so quick to point things out to the mom and mom shame, but never throw anything back at the father. Are there things on this list you were guilty of doing before you became a mom? Did I miss anything? Let me know in the comments!

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DAY IN THE LIFE

DAY IN THE LIFE


Today while Everly napped I was looking through my Snapchat and I thought to myself how lucky it is going to be not only for Everly but for me also to be able to look back and see little moments like this. Technology now is so advanced, we are able to capture every milestone but also capture just day to day moments. Growing up my family never had a video camera, I have never seen a video of me as a child, and photos were limited to big moments only like birthdays and holidays. Mostly because that type of stuff was not accessible to my parents like it is today. 

I love that we not only have our phones for quick access, but we also have Kyle's camera equipment to capture things in much better quality. Lately I have really been loving the editing process, and I have found myself picking up the camera way more than Kyle has. I have a newly found love for photography and capturing a documentary style session. This type of documentary style I have found myself really gravitating towards, the photos are just simple and raw, not staged. The smile or funny face you see is me not directing her to make them, they are pure and her full emotion. I know down the road as much as I will love looking at all the big moments, being able to look back and see just a simple day in our life will be so special too. The types of activities she liked or what brought her joy in that specific moment make me smile and allows me to keep capturing these days. 


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HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY


To all the amazing mother's that are in my life - today is for you. I know now how special, exhausting, and rewarding it is to be a mom and I hope you take the day and spend it exactly how you want to! I feel so lucky to be surrounded by such strong women who can truly do it all, thank you for always being there whenever I need advice. Each and every one of you are truly amazing.

To the women still fighting for their little one - today is for you as well. I know that this day can bring sadness, but you are all just as much a mother as those with physical children. Keep fighting, you are all amazing and brave.

To my daughter: Thank you for choosing me to be your mamma, for loving me every single day, and for being you. You are everything I wished for and more, you have made all my dreams come true. Not a day goes by where you don't make me smile or laugh, I love you endlessly.



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A LETTER TO MY MOM FOR MOTHER'S DAY

A LETTER TO MY MOM FOR MOTHER'S DAY


all that I am or hope to be, I owe to my mother

Dear Mom, 

I have been a mom for just 8 short months and in those months I have found a whole new appreciation and respect for everything that you have done and continue to do for our family. Being a mom has been such a blessing, a blessing that has come with hardships and challenges but every night before I go to bed it is still the biggest joy in my life. How you do it with three kids I'm not sure, but you do it with such grace that it gives me reassurance that if we are ever blessed with more kids in the future I know I will be able to do it because I've had the greatest teacher. 

A mom at any given time has about 10 different balls in the air, our minds never stop wandering and thinking about what needs to get done all while keeping to a set schedule. After becoming a mom I know for sure that I took much of what you did for granted. To keep a family running takes continuous work, and it can be a very thankless job sometimes. Every day you wake up and manage to be the glue that holds everyone together, the therapist we sometimes need, the sponge that soaks in all our troubles and worries, and a friend all at the same time. I hope one day Everly and I have the type of relationship that I have with you, the type of relationship that allows free speech even if it is not always what we want to hear but maybe need to hear. The type of relationship that brings laughter, long talks, sharing of advice or stories, and unconditional love. 

I know my journey is just starting, but I wanted to take the time to say how eternally grateful I am to have you by my side both as my mom and as my teacher. Your guidance and help never goes unnoticed even if I forget to say thank you sometimes. Thank you for being there for me through all the ups and downs, always being at the finish line of all my accomplishments, and for pushing me to be the best version of myself. Thank you for being Everly's "Gam Gam" and showing her the things Kyle and I can't. 

We all love you! Happy Mother's Day, you deserve the entire world everyday.
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EIGHT MONTHS WITH EVERLY

EIGHT MONTHS WITH EVERLY


This month her photos kind of crept up on me and I almost missed it - so this month they were taken kind of last minute but hey, she's still cute! It is slowly starting to hit me that in 3 months it won't be just the two of us every day anymore and I will be back to work. That part has been hard, I knew time flew but damn.. this has been a whole new level of fast. Watching her learn new things is so fun and also so sad haha I cry almost every time. 

This month her two teeth have made their way up and she no longer has a gummy smile, she is also starting to get a tooth up top now so we are getting ready for round two of teething fun. She still is not crawling, sometimes it looks like she's super close but she has discovered she can get to where she wants to by rolling everywhere. So I don't know if she will actually crawl and just go from rolling around to walking but we will see! Girl can move though when she wants to get somewhere. She also started clapping when we clap which is one of the cutest things I have seen because she is so happy and proud when she does it. Everly babbles like crazy but dada is still her favourite word to say, she rolled onto a toy today and got hurt and while she was crying and I was consoling her all she kept saying was dada :/ 

She has such a little attitude and has started flopping when something happens she doesn't like, but overall her temperament is pretty laid back. She is a great sleeper, she goes to bed between 6:00pm and 6:30pm and sleeps right until 6:00am. She also naps twice a day, first one at 8:30am and the second one at 1:00pm. She has recently started being a crazy sleeper where she puts herself into the weirdest sleep positions (she is currently napping sideways) but whatever helps her sleep! 

Her favourite things are bath time (she sits up in the bath now and loves playing with all her toys), seeing her dad come home from work, walks in the stroller, playing in her house, swinging at the park, and making music with all her instruments. This month we are meeting with Everly's daycare teacher and I'm excited to see where she will be making friends and spending most of her days. This weekend will be my first official mother's day and it is so special, I am having Kyle take some mother daughter photos so we can have some memories of the special day. 


I think she looks just like Kyle here.


you're my favourite thing about everyday <3

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POST PARTUM DEPRESSION: MY EXPERIENCE

POST PARTUM DEPRESSION: MY EXPERIENCE


Recently I have found out that the month of May is going to start bringing awareness to Post Partum Depression and I think it is a great idea. Much like the subject of miscarriage or depression in general the subject is often avoided or overlooked by a lot of society and I think that is really unfortunate. It breaks my heart that many people close to me have experienced this feeling and have felt embarrassed to share their story. I have been pretty open about my struggles whether it is with infertility or with depression and I do not regret it for a minute because it has opened up a whole new conversation with some of my closest friends and as a result it has made us stronger together. This has been my experience with PPD. 

You hear about it when you take the classes or when you read the books, I have always struggled with some form of anxiety or depression on and off my entire life which made me pay closer attention to the subject when it was discussed, but I was still naive. You think you're ready for this amazing little human but you're not at all. Suddenly you're at the hospital with a whirlwind of visitors and your body is slowly going back to "normal." I thought to myself in the hospital (day 2 of being a mom) "oh awesome I must be one of the lucky ones who didn't get depression or baby blues!" Then I got home and reality sunk in and suddenly I was hit with the baby blues. This lasted two weeks and the first couple months in general were a blur but basically it felt like even though I had people visiting I still felt alone. I cried at the drop of a hat and had no idea why, I was struggling emotionally with every choice I made. I remember one time crying because I didn't know what to make myself for lunch, and because I couldn't come to a decision I didn't eat lunch. Those two weeks were a struggle and sometimes I wondered how people could live like this for extended periods of time, I prayed that the feeling would go away. The feeling did disappear for a little while, I finally started feeling like myself again and that was really awesome. Then January hit, and the feeling of depression came back and I was devastated. I remember crying to Kyle, I kept saying "I don't understand why it was gone and then now it's back." I think a combination of hormones being out of control and personal issues I was dealing with at the time made things unfold the way they did, and it's something I'm still working on today. 

It's not her it's me, and it's a daily struggle because I feel guilty when I have bad days because I want her to see the best version of myself all the time. My love for her is undeniable, I would give my life for her at the drop of a hat. Unfortunately PPD make some days really hard, but overall I can feel myself getting better. The thing with PPD is that it doesn't care whether you have all the help in the world or not, I have a husband who is the most hands on father, he adores his daughter and is always available for help and I have my family who has displayed such amazing unconditional love for her. As hard as it has been dealing with this form of PPD, I do recognize that there are people who suffer to a much stronger degree, and my heart aches for those people because I know how hard this feeling is I could not imagine feeling worse. 

Being a mom is the biggest blessing, this is what I wished for, I would not trade any aspect of my life for anything. She is the reason I wake up every single morning determined to have a good day, and she doesn't determine whether my day is easy or hard, it's my hormones. I find that social media can often times be detrimental because a lot of people only show the parts of their life that are put together which sometimes makes me doubt my ability to parent. But something I keep telling myself is everyone has bad days, no matter what they post or what you see. There are days that are hard for everyone because we are all human, and we are all figuring this new job out. 

I feel truly thankful I have been able to confide in a few friends about my experience, and to be reassured that it is OK to feel this way. You are not a bad mom or person for feeling this but it is important that if you are, you seek help or find support. I am glad I was able to recognize my feelings and work at changing them before they ultimately got worse. Never let anyone try and guilt you into how you're feeling or make you feel worse, one thing I tell myself at the end of every day is that I am doing a good job, I am a great mother, Everly is healthy and thriving and she loves me. Telling myself those things have helped get me through some tough days, and I am passing them on to all of you <3 

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TUESDAY TRUTHS

TUESDAY TRUTHS

passion and drive

Lately I have been thinking a lot about the types of people I surround myself with and how that best displays who I am, or if it does at all. I plan on talking about my "circle" of people on another Tuesday Truths post, but in terms of figuring out who I am and what type of people pull me towards them, passion and drive is pretty big. 

I consider myself someone who is goal oriented, I always have. Whether it is writing goals down, making a vision board, or creating list upon list there is always something I'm working towards or something I'm chasing after to make a reality. I think being motivated is one of the best characteristics you can have because we are never done growing. Have a passion that sets that spark inside of you and never lets it go out. That passion can be anything, it can be your job or even a hobby. The important thing is to have something for you and something that makes your life fun and exciting. 

When I surround myself with people who are unmotivated for a long period of time I can feel the effects it starts to have on me, it weighs me down. In my opinion life is just too short to waste sitting around scrolling through social media or wasting the day away, something that is constructive to do or having something you are working towards will fill your day with creativity. That is not to say that I don't have my days where I lounge and just do nothing because everyone needs those days to recoup. But if you find yourself always having those days, or feeling sluggish with no energy to move forward and improve your life then something is missing. Always answering with "I don't know," or "I wish I had the energy to do that" is not going to get you anywhere and it is going to create a lonely space. 

When you surround yourself with people who are goal oriented and passionate it rubs off on you, you can work off one another to share your ideas and turn them into a reality. I know people say this all the time but "ever since I became a mom" I have found out more about myself than I have in my entire life - I am more in tune with my body and with my mind. Tons of things help me with thislike writing, seeing life through Everly's eyes, staying grounded, reading, and submerging myself in the hobbies that make me happiest. I love supporting those closest to me when they accomplish something they have been working hard for, and I know that if I didn't have the drive to work hard and accomplish what I wanted my life would be dramatically different. 

I encourage everyone to create some type of goal if you don't have one, or find something you love doing even if it takes a few tries. I can't tell you how many times I have gone through hobbies I am passionate about and I still revisit them from time to time, but the journey of learning and then proving to myself I could do it was what I was truly looking for. 

When you look at the circle you surround yourself with is passion and drive a prominent part? 
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