ONE MONTH POSTPARTUM


I am having a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that I am already almost (Oct 11) one month postpartum - time truly flies and I hate to sound like every person ever but it's true. I haven't even wrapped my head around the fact that I am a mom to a person fully, sometimes it still feels like I'm babysitting someone else's baby. But here we are, one month as a family of three and it has been quite the adventure. 

A friend of mine told me to "not be an instagram mom," because being a mom is one of the hardest jobs out there, and to slap a filter on it and call it perfect just isn't true. She's right, I seem to post plenty photos of Everly sleeping peacefully which might make it look easy, but it has been such a learning curve for myself. Yea she still sleeps a lot, but what my instagram feed doesn't show is me up every two and a half hours at night to feed/change/soothe her, me battling the baby blues for the first week and a half home, me also battling with the choice to formula or breastfeed, and me just questioning everything I know in general. Nothing prepared me for this little lady, not the books, the classes, or the advice of others. I was not expecting the labour I had with her (it was traumatizing) and I was not expecting the baby blues. Luckily I had the help of a few amazing friends and fellow mommas as well as some family and I can't thank them enough for the support they gave me when I felt like I was just a terrible mom and failing at everything. 

Everly has brought so much happiness and love into my life, I cannot believe some days that she is mine forever. I spend my days just looking at her when I should be resting when she rests, but I can't help it - she is such a perfect human. Even though yes it has come with its challenges, I have never felt more alive and felt like I have a purpose. She is my everything and she has truly completed my family. Everyday she is more alert and I have enjoyed every minute with her, she has such a funny personality and she is so loved - I couldn't have asked for a better child. Right now she still sleeps quite a bit, but when she is awake she likes looking at her black and white toys, touching her brother Bentley's fur, and listening to us read her stories. I had to pack away all her newborn clothes and it made me cry, she only wore newborn sizes for one week..so she is currently rocking 0-3 month clothing. 

As far as the recovery - everyday I feel a little more like myself. The tummy still looks and feels like a deflated balloon but hey, it was far from perfect before I got pregnant anyways! I think I may be experiencing a side effect from the epidural because I do still have a lot of lower back pain in my left side (the side where it wore off during labour) which is unfortunate but it does seem to be getting better. I did get an episiotomy and the recovery from that was not fun but the last few weeks have been better. The experience in general was not what I had envisioned but I know a lot of people's "birth plan" never go the way they want it to. She was stubborn until the very end that's for sure. 

All in all, it has been a whirlwind of a month. We have all taken the time to learn about each other and get used to our new roles as a family. It has been rewarding and I am so happy that this is where I am in life - a mom to a little girl. She challenges me every day to be the best version of myself and I have a new found love and patience in my day to day life. If I could tell her anything and for her to understand it would be that she is everything I wished for and that I hope that I am doing a good job at being her momma and that I am so happy she picked me to travel through life with. 
Read more »
Labels: ,

35 WEEK BUMPDATE


I can't believe I have finished my 8th month of pregnancy and I am entering into my 9th month, it has been such a crazy ride that it's hard to believe it's almost over. She has been moving so much these last few days and it makes me long to see her little face but also soak in all these remaining moments. When we first found out we were pregnant it was really scary, a lot had happened up until that point and sometimes I feel guilty because it took me a long time to really connect to this pregnancy. Despite the anxiety and the fear I have felt these last few weeks as my due date quickly approaches, I feel ready to meet her and start my life with my family. I can't wait for our families to love her like we already do, and to watch her grow and make them laugh. I think for the first 2 weeks I will be a hermit who just stays home and stares at her because it still sometimes feels surreal that I have been able to do this, that I have been able to hold onto this amazing little life. 

This week is my last week of work and it makes me kind of sad, work has been my everything and I think switching gears will be a little difficult at first. I will miss the team and I will miss the kids, when and if I am able to come back nothing will be the same which feels really sad. Apart from finishing work, we have our pregnancy classes and getting the last little bit ready for Everly. As much as I want to relax a bit before she makes her entrance, I have to stay motivated to finish what it left. 

How far along? 35 weeks

Total weight gain? 30 lbs 

Maternity clothes? all day every day.

Stretch marks? My tummy is a road map lol but I knew I wouldn't be able to avoid it.

Sleep? I toss and turn and when I finally find a position, I have to pee. It's a cycle lol so no sleep for me.

Best moment this week? Watching Kyle interact with my belly, he was interacting with Everly when she was moving around like crazy. It is so beautiful to watch

Miss anything? Being able to walk without feeling intense pressure or just walking without a wobble lol

Movement? She has been moving quite a bit and I think I experienced my first Braxton Hicks contraction. 

Food cravings? Nothing really stands out this week.

Anything making you feel sick or queasy? The heat - it has been ridiculous this summer.

Showing? Yeah I'm all baby now.

Gender? Girl

Labor signs? None.

Symptoms? Still rocking the swollen feet and I have felt a bit nauseas these last few days on and off.

Belly button in or out? it's popped out now - she gone!

Wedding ring on or off? They are officially off full time 

Happy or moody most of the time? I've been pretty moody this past week but the heat really does not help.

Looking forward to: Our pregnancy classes! :) 

Read more »
Labels:

33 WEEK BUMPDATE


Hello 33 weeks! This past week has been so nice, it was our summer shutdown so we had the week off and it could not have come at a better time. I could feel myself burning out and felt really run down, with the heat and being so big working was getting really difficult. So I took advantage and used this time to really relax, I went to visit my parents by myself for the last time until baby comes and it was relaxing and calm (minus taking Bentley to the vet for dental surgery). Tomorrow is back to work and I only have 2 weeks left after this week until my maternity leave starts. I can't believe how quickly it has come, I have no idea where June and July went! I have made sure to have majority of things done, because I have had a few hunches that she may come early. We do our prenatal classes August 22 and 29, so anytime after that I'm ready for her! I have a few craft ideas that I would like to work on while I have some downtime, and I have also saved an entire season of Scandal so I can binge watch, I think it terms of keeping busy I'm pretty much set! Bentley has been really clingy to me, and it has made me kind of emotional leaving him during the day. I think things are starting to set in for him that some changes are coming really soon. It has been the three of us for the last 5 years and I have been very emotional knowing that pretty soon he won't be my baby anymore :( 

How far along? 33 weeks

Total weight gain? I haven't weighed myself in a bit so I'm not sure!

Maternity clothes? all day every day.

Stretch marks? Yeah - quite a few new ones have popped up.

Sleep? During the week off I actually started to sleep in a little which is unusual for me (not that I'm complaining). Normally I am up between 6:30 and 7, but this week I was waking up around 9 and sometimes after, it felt really nice. 

Best moment this week? Spending some time with my family one last time before she gets here, and also taking our maternity photos, they turned out so beautiful.

Miss anything? Seeing my feet, and actually sleeping through the night without getting up to pee every half hour.

Movement? She moves constantly now and it is really amazing, although lately I have felt her really low and some of her movements hurt - it is still so amazing to see her moving from outside, it really freaks Kyle out.

Food cravings? Nothing really stands out this week.

Anything making you feel sick or queasy? The heat still gets to me, also because my iron is low I sometimes tend to feel light headed and need a minute to collect myself.

Showing? Yeah I'm all baby now.

Gender? Girl

Labor signs? None.

Symptoms? Swollen ankles and the bladder is non existent, I pee all.the.time.

Belly button in or out? it's popped out now - she gone!

Wedding ring on or off? They are officially off full time 

Happy or moody most of the time? This week I have been more emotional/sentimental, I have been doing a lot of thinking.

Looking forward to: Our hospital tour this coming Sunday!

Read more »
Labels:

32 WEEK BUMPDATE


Well it has definitely been a hot minute since I did one of these (6 weeks to be exact) and that is for a few reasons. Recently Kyle and I both made the joint decision to cut his sister out of our lives, and unfortunately she was still getting updates from certain people despite both of us blocking and deleting her on all social media. At first this really rubbed me the wrong way because in my opinion, she does not deserve to see any aspect of how we live our lives, especially when it comes to our daughter. However, after talking to some amazing people who have gone through similar situations I realized enough was enough, why give her the satisfaction of thinking she is keeping our family members that love Everly from seeing her grow. Kyle and I have come so far in this journey together and I want to show people the love that comes from failed attempts and losses, that there is light at the end of the tunnel, and that family members deserve to soak her in and enjoy her personality when she is born. I'm not one to come out and put our personal issues with family out on the table, but I think slowly people have begun to see it on their own, and it has been something Kyle and I both have battled a long time with, but I think we both have found peace with our choices and know deep down it is for the best. 

ASIDE from all that nonsense, summer is truly kicking my ass. Never be this pregnant in the summer ever again Kayla, it is true torture. I also only have like 3 weeks left of work which seems so crazy and surreal to me. I have grown to truly love my job and my team, so leaving them will be pretty hard. Also, Everly is due in like 57 days, which again is so surreal. Time has gone so fast and I can see why people miss being pregnant, I am never alone and she always lets me know she is there, it has truly been a magical experience.

How far along? 32 weeks

Total weight gain? I've gained a total of 20lbs.

Maternity clothes? Yes sir! How do people go back to regular clothes after giving birth haha, these are so comfy!

Stretch marks? Yeah.

Sleep? This is one thing that is different about my last update, I don't sleep anymore ha. I get up every 5 minutes to pee and I wish I was lying when I said that. I also HATE sleeping on my side, so it's been a challenge.  

Best moment this week? We got to see her one last time and it was amazing. My whole heart just filled with excitement.

Miss anything? Sleep

Movement? Her movements have become more dragged out as opposed to prominent kicks like they used to be. I can now see and feel her drag her entire leg across my belly haha it's both creepy and amazing. 

Food cravings? Strawberries and chocolate milk. These have become everyday staples

Anything making you feel sick or queasy? The heat has been really getting to me, it makes me feel light headed a lot and I recently threw up because of it. 

Showing? Yeah I'm all baby now.

Gender? GIRL!!!

Labor signs? None.

Symptoms? Just feeling sick due to the heat, also my ankles are always swollen. 

Belly button in or out? it's popped out now.

Wedding ring on or off? They are officially off full time :( 

Happy or moody most of the time? I pretty much break even lol

Looking forward to: Getting the rest of her stuff ready, like the car seat and all that jazz!

Read more »
Labels:

THIRD (AND FINAL) TRIMESTER


This week instead of doing my traditional "bump date," I wanted to take a moment and reflect on how the last 6 months have been for me. We have begun the third trimester and the final stretch of the pregnancy with Everly, and I feel so lucky in every way. This week we hit a little bump in the road with me feeling light headed and almost passing out - they took me over to the hospital to make sure baby wasn't in distress. Everything seemed to be fine and I feel her move on and off all the time. Overall though, she has truly blessed me with a great pregnancy - I can't complain, and even if it was a terrible pregnancy with every symptom I still don't think I could complain because of how far we have come. I have never felt so in love with my body and what it is capable of doing, she is growing every day and I couldn't be more thankful. 

The road we took to get here was far from easy, there were days when I would cry and just not understand why this was happening. However, it led me here and it led me to my daughter. Not only that but I have found so many women, many being close friends that have gone through similar things and it has allowed me to hopefully help them in some way shape or form. Six months ago I started a job that I absolutely love, I took the leap to make myself happy after months of hell and when I least expected it she came into our lives. It has been a chaotic 6 months, but in that chaos we have found beauty and hope within our own lives and we could not be any happier. 

So here we are in the last trimester, sometimes I can't believe how fast time has gone! We are entering our 7th month of pregnancy and we are excited and nervous for her arrival. I cannot wait to see her beautiful face for the first time but I understand why people miss being pregnant! I love feeling her movements, and I never truly feel alone. She has changed my life in every way, she has made me believe that even when things seem impossible there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. Everly I can't believe we have made it this far together and I am so happy we have! Knowing you're continuing to grow everyday makes my heart so full - I can't wait to meet you in September!
Read more »
Labels:

26 WEEK BUMPDATE


These last few days I have really been enjoying my pregnancy and being able to be part of her for a little while longer. I can't believe that next week marks the third trimester and my 7th month of pregnancy. I feel so blessed everyday to be able to carry her and have everything be healthy so far - I have never been so in love with my body and everything it has been able to do these last 7 months. Last Sunday was my baby shower and it felt really special to have people there celebrating Everly and the love was felt all day. My last baby shower with my side of the family is just under a month away too, time is just flying and I think by the end of July it is really going to hit me what is going to come. 

How far along? 26 weeks

Total weight gain? I am sitting at around 10lbs gained now.

Maternity clothes? Yes sir!

Stretch marks? Yeah, no new ones though.

Sleep? Sleep is still hit and miss, some nights are better than others but it has been nice that our night's lately have been on the colder side which helps me sleep a lot better. 

Best moment this week? My shower last Sunday was really special - I was so happy to make some great memories.

Miss anything? Being able to sleep on my tummy. 

Movement? She seems to be really active from 5pm onwards, and I think it is because that is usually when I am relaxing and not moving around as much. 

Food cravings? Still white and chocolate milk haha and a few sweet things like ice cream.

Anything making you feel sick or queasy? Nope! I have been feeling really great this last week.

Showing? Yeah I'm all baby now.

Gender? GIRL!!!

Labor signs? None.

Symptoms? Nothing that really stands out this week, still getting the odd charlie horse at night which is the worst. 

Belly button in or out? Still just chilling half in and half out haha I thought for sure it would've popped by now. 

Wedding ring on or off? On, but still taking it off at night and putting moisturizer on my hands, for some reason wearing them at night really bothers me. 

Happy or moody most of the time? I think overall it was a very happy week :)

Looking forward to: Our second shower in just under a month, and my monthly doctor's appointment in 2 weeks!

According to my app, baby...

  • is about the size of a bowling pin
  • weighs just over 2 lbs now
  • her eyes are starting to open and she can see light 
  • she is still piggybacking off my immune system
Read more »
Labels:

24 WEEK BUMPDATE


It feels like the weeks are just flying by but at the same time I feel like I should be further along than I am! I am starting to see what people mean when they say they miss being pregnant, it is such an amazing process and right now I feel like I'm in the perfect spot. I am feeling good energy wise, I'm not overly big where I can still move around haha, and I am just enjoying feeling her movements. It is a special time, and one that I am trying to soak up (until the heat of the summer :/)

How far along? 24 weeks

Total weight gain? I have gained a total of 8 lbs

Maternity clothes? yup, everything I wear is either maternity or a size bigger. 

Stretch marks? Yeah, no new ones though.

Sleep? Lately the sleeping hasn't been the best, I have had a lot of charlie horses at night and I feel like I haven't been in a deep sleep in a long time. Despite that though, I seem to have a good amount of energy.

Best moment this week? The other night Kyle had his head on my belly and Everly kicked him in the face haha, it was so funny but so heartwarming all at once. We also got to see her this past Wednesday which is always such a treat. She was smiling for us and moving around, when we brought Kyle into the room and she heard his voice her movements changed and she was cooperating more for the tech to get pictures - she's obsessed with her dad already.

Miss anything? The cooler weather, and I LOVE summer, so it pains me to say that.

Movement? All the time, I love it.

Food cravings? I have been obsessed with cold milk, I remembered the story my cousin Cheryl told me in Ottawa, so I have been putting a glass in the freezer for about 5 minutes and it's the best. 

Anything making you feel sick or queasy? Not really, the heat the last few days has really taken a toll on me though. There have been a few times where I have felt light headed :( 

Showing? Yeah I'm all baby now.

Gender? GIRL!!!

Labor signs? None.

Symptoms? Light headed mostly but I think the heat is to blame for that.

Belly button in or out? It's still like half and half which creeps me out, I hate belly buttons.

Wedding ring on or off? On, but still taking it off at night and putting moisturizer on my hands

Happy or moody most of the time? This last week was hell and I'm so glad it's over, I was so emotional the entire week.

Looking forward to: My baby shower with Kyle's side of the family and my friends is next weekend! I am so excited to have such valued people in my life celebrate our daughter!

According to my app, baby...
  • is the size of a GI Joe (or an Eggplant)
  • has reached viability
  • has a fully formed face! 
  • developing taste buds and a sense of hearing
Read more »
Labels:
Subscribe to: Posts (Atom)